Does Gay Marriage Corrupt the Institution of Marriage?

          The formal definition of marriage states that “1.) marriage a formal union of a man and a woman, typically recognized by law, by which they become husband and wife. 2.) A relationship between married people or the period of which it lasts” (Google, 2013).  Marriage and the ideas that support this concept have weakened at a fast rate in our country.  Currently there is only 50% chance that this union of marriage will last and not end in divorce.  Also the original idea of reproduction in this country was based on the foundation of marriage and that we should wait till marriage to reproduce. The amount of births in the country out of wedlock has increased rapidly over the past few years which challenges the original definition of what marriage stands for.  Individuals in our society who oppose gay marriage use the foundation of marriage and what it stands for their argument.  They feel that they should do anything in their power to protect the beliefs and values of marriage.  In opposition to the idea of gay marriage, what is it that the marriage between two men or two females actually challenges the institution of marriage?

            A common argument for the opposition of gay marriages is that in essence that the acceptance of gay marriage will create a movement of moral decay and that the homosexual community is looking to corrupt our country and mock what marriage stands for. These ideas society has created about the gay community simply derives from the inaccurate stereotypes and biases they have created through fear.  Homosexual couples are not looking to oppose or corrupt the concept of marriage, but rather are looking for the same equal rights as a heterosexual couples.  They want the same chance at love and happiness and the rights this union between two people that are associated with this.  The idea of marriage is based on the expression of love.  Things such as race, sexual orientation, or religion should not be restricted, but we need embrace love in all aspects and given the same rights to move forward in life with our partner.

            People sometimes do not realize the effects the absence of marriage can bring to a homosexual couple.  For example if two men or two women have been together and are in a committed relationship they do not have the right to make any type of medical decisions for their partner.  A homosexual couple is also not able to receive health insurance, life insurance, or disability benefits from their spouse as opposed to a heterosexual couple who is able to benefit because of marriage. If a gay couples spouse passes away, they have absolutely no rights to make any decisions in regards to what happens to any of their belongings, funeral arrangements, or the remains of their partner.  Families automatically get granted these rights and a homosexual partner is completely disregarded because our country does not accept this kind of love.  The love and responsibilities are the same between two people no matter what their sexual orientation.  So why is it that our society thinks one group should be denied the right to have this love stand for something more, which is based on the idea of marriage. 

            Keith Olberman in an article he wrote in our text book of Gay Marriage is a question of love puts it best “you are asked now, by your country, and perhaps by your creator, to stand on one side or another.  You are asked now to stand, not on a question of politics, not on a question of religion, not on a question of gay or straight.  You are asked now to stand, on a question of love.  All you need to do is stand, and let the tiny ember of love meet its own fate” (Rothenberg, 2010, p. 448).  I couldn’t agree more with this message and what he is conveying in these few sentences.  People in our society really need to dig down deep and look at the reasoning’s behind why our country still opposes the marriage among the gay community.  Just because it’s not something that you can understand doesn’t mean it’s something that holds less value.  We all deserve to love whomever we want in life and be able to live with the same rights as everyone else.  Just because someone is a heterosexual couple doesn’t mean their love should stand for something more.

References:

Rothenberg, P. S. (2010). Race, class, and gender in the united states. New York, NY: Worth Publishers.

Arguing Equality. (2013, February 25). An interactive web guide to understanding and presenting the case for same-sex marriage. Retrieved from www.arguingequality.org

Stereotypes/Prejudices towards the LGBT community

     The prejudices and stereotypes that surround the homosexuality community have been created due to society’s ignorance to understand the actual lifestyle of a gay person.  This ignorance is derived from people’s lack of first-hand interaction with someone who is homosexual. “Gallup poll found that only one in five American’s reports having a gay acquaintance (friend)” (Rothenberg, 2010, p. 577).  The two main stereotypes that exist in our society are based on the concept of gender identity.  First, lesbians are said to have some desire to be or act like a man and are associated with derogatory names such as: dyke or bulldyke.  Also that gay men are men who want to be a women or act like a woman in some form and are associated with being a queen, fairy, and limp-wrists.  Another common stereotype is that homosexuals are rebellious wanting to corrupt others and that their feelings are a choice to be different.  These stereotypes are false claims made on a whole group that is created from a small sample. 

     Unfortunately facts from others do not make enough of an impact to counteract the stereotypes that already exist for gays.  Scientific studies and academic research have been able to create proof and awareness of the stereotypes and prejudices that take place on a daily basis.  This scientific proof and awareness over time has pioneered the shift in society where homosexuality is slowly starting to become more acceptable.  Although there has been progress in this country there is still a lot more support and respect that needs to be had by the gay community. Fear of the unknown and hatred seem to fuel a certain part of the population to continue with these inaccurate stereotypes and biases. 

     These stereotypes and prejudices sometimes lead to violence which is actually reported less if the crime involves someone who is homosexual.  This is prejudice and discrimination towards the gay community within itself.  Gays experience violent acts and hate crimes based solely on their sexual orientation and not because of anything they did wrong.  “More than one in five gay men and nearly one in ten lesbians have been punched, hit, or kicked; a quarter of all gays had objects thrown at them; a third had been chased; a third had been sexually harassed and 14 percent had been spit on-all just for being perceived to be gay” (Rothenberg, 2010, p. 581). These statistics put in perspective the amount of violence that is committed just based on stereotypes.  People are getting hit, punched, kicked, chased, and sexually harassed not because of their character or any action they committed, but merely on the fact that they are or could be homosexual.  An extreme version of violence that takes place in our country involves “queerbashing.”  This is when a group of men will gang up on another man and beat and harass this man just because he is homosexual.  Sometimes this even leads to death.

      Hendren and Blank (2009) conducted a study that looked into the negative attitudes and prejudices towards gay men and lesbians.  In the past, results of this topic have only used methods of self-reports to collect data.  These two researchers wanted to take it a step further and see the prejudices that surface for lesbians and gay men when using behavioral measures.  The study was conducted with the setting that the requestor would go up to cars and ask each person if they had a 10-pence piece to spare because they needed if for a parking fee.  The independent variable in this study is the t-shirt the requestor was wearing.  If the requestor wanted to be perceived as a heterosexual they would just wear a black t-shirt. When they wanted to be perceived as a homosexual, the requestor would wear a “Gay Pride” t-shirt.  The dependent variable would then be whether or not the person displayed helpful behaviors (giving change to requestor) or a non-helpful behaviors (not giving change to the requestor).  Results indicated that the person who was perceived as a lesbian or gay man (with “gay pride” t-shirt) would get much less help than the group who was considered heterosexual.  Men especially showed the most prejudices towards homosexuals and would make it a point not to help the requestor just based on their perceived sexual orientation. 

     Although I recognize and appreciate the increased acceptance of homosexuality in our society, it still breaks my heart that this much prejudice and hatred still exists.  As a homosexual women growing up, I experienced even at an early age the prejudices of being a perceived as a lesbian.  In early as middle school, I was a tomboy and my athleticism and athletic attire led other boys to assume I was a lesbian and the name calling and jokes started.  At that time I did not completely come to terms with my sexuality, but their perceptions already assumed that I was a homosexual.  These experiences did have an effect on my confidence and acceptance growing up. The part that I regret the most is not standing up for myself, but at this point it was not considered a norm and acceptable in any form.  I still hold some anger towards these boys even when I see them as grown adults.  Not that I judge them now as an adults, but just that they will never know the impact these words made in my life for so many years.  It’s not until I reached my first year of college, when I met some amazing people who supported me and allowed me to come to terms with who I was.  This then allowed me to grow and become confident in myself and my homosexuality.  The complete acceptance helped me flourish into the person I am today and strive towards meeting my potential.  I have overcome obstacles and have grown from a shy and timid young girl to a proud and confident woman.  So I hope our society continues to push for acceptance and that the children in the future who come to terms with their sexuality are greeted with love and acceptance and not prejudice and hate.

It Gets Better Project

     The It Gets Better Project was founded by Dan Savage and his husband Terry Miller.  The purpose of this project was to create an outlet for teenagers who have been bullied due to their homosexuality. Teenagers at times can feel helpless and lonely with these feelings and obstacles of discrimination they face with their family, peers, and possibly even teachers/coachers.  Due to the increase in suicides among gay teenagers in 2010, this couple reached out to the gay community and wanted to convey the message that “it does get better” to the LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender) youth.  Adults and other teenagers of the LGBT community video themselves and explain their story and journey which allows these teenagers to feel less alone and that there are other people in this world who have experienced similar hardships.
     These videos seek to inspire these youth that their life will not always be so tough and that there is hope out there to have happiness, acceptance, and potential positive environment as an openly homosexual in today’s society. The It Get Better Project has now accumulated over 50,000 personal videos and 50 million views among these videos.  Individuals who submit videos come from a wide range of members of our community which include: celebrities, organizations, activists, politicians, and media personalities.  This project has such a strong and powerful message and the fact that these videos are posted from such a wide range of members in our society empowers these youth to overcome and continue to strive for success regardless of these obstacles.  Seeing some of these people in prestigious and higher roles gives these teenagers the hope that they can still aspire to be anything they dream of. 
     When you first go onto the It Gets Better Project website: http://www.itgetsbetter.org , there is an option where you are able to take a pledge and join the movement of this project.  Joining the pledge spreads the message to eliminate discrimination and that respect should be given to everyone regardless of their differences.  When you commit this pledge you are committing to spread this message to others and that you will stand up and not tolerate any type of bullying or hate that you come in contact with.  Ultimately, you are pledging to provide hope for the LGBT youth and in that their future holds endless opportunities and that it will get better.  Today I took the pledge, and I hope anyone reading the blog will also join me and the other 553,926 individuals to commit to helping making our community better and more accepting place. 

Please take a moment to view this video because it really captures the obstacles LGBT youth face and the reason why this It Gets Better Project was created in the first place.

Reference:

It Gets Better Project. (2013, February 14). About the it gets better project. Retrieved from http://www.itgetsbetter.org/pages/about-it-gets-better-project/

Boy Scouts of America homosexuality policy, is it justified?

     The Boy Scouts of America current policy on homosexuality is that individuals who are openly gay or homosexual are forbidden to be a part of this organization in any form. Similarly to the previous “Don’t Ask, Don’t tell” policy of the military, an individual is granted membership if they are homosexual as long as they do not disclose this information and keep it secret.  In 2000, Boy Scouts of America vs. Dale came to the verdict that private organizations do have a choice to exclude certain groups or individuals if they feel that these people are going against their group values. The first amendment confirms this verdict and allows them the freedom to exclude any group they wish to including the homosexual community. 
     Although the law does justify that the Boy Scouts of America can exclude members who are openly homosexual, I do not think that being gay has any burden on an individual’s ability to become a Scoutmaster or Scout.  Someone’s sexual preference does not alter one’s values, morals, and character. These people should not be defined by one characteristic when there are so many factors that attribute to each person as a whole.  This original homosexual policy for the Boy Scouts of America was created over 100 years ago and should not let this outdated policy guide them to continue with these hateful biases in today’s society.  Especially when this organization prides themselves on leadership qualities and moral values.  The question that arises here is: Is banning someone on their sexual orientation actually moral?
     I attached a video to this blog that interviewed a boy named Eric Jones which covered the journey that he has been through with the Boy Scouts of America after revealing his true identity as an openly homosexual male.  Eric stated that he was a respected part of this organization as an Eagle scout and once revealing his true colors, this respect was immediately taken away. Jones has over the past ten
years accumulated many awards and honors and by simply stating his sexual orientation was stripped of all his hard work.  What I find hard to justify is that Eric Jones obviously met and exceeded the expectations and values of this organization by being rewarded with all his accomplishments.  How is it that his sexual orientation can re-define what he stands for as a human being and how hard he has worked to succeed in this organization?

            The Boys of America is continuing to follow the ideas of heterosexism as discussed in my previous blog and are conforming these boys to follow these same beliefs.  To me it is as if this organization is saying that it is ok to discriminate and not accept someone because they are different from you.  Boys of America should allow diversity and embrace different cultures, beliefs, and sexual orientation.  Instead of hindering their organization by a restricted boundaries, they need to embrace all different kinds of groups/people which will then ultimately make them a stronger and more powerful unit. So is this homosexual policy justified? Legally it is, but ethically not at all.

 

References:

 

Graddick, H. (2012, February 4). Boy scouts, time to end discrimination. Retrieved from http://www.cnn.com/2012/07/20/opinion/graddick-boy-scouts

Overby, A. (2012, February 4). Boy scouts gay policy is legal, but wrong. Retrieved from http://www.policymic.com/articles/11573/boy-scouts-gay-policy-is-legal-but-wrong

 

 

What does it mean to be a lesbian or gay man in our society?

     The perception of this country and their ideas about homosexuality are created using the term heterosexism as its foundation.  Heterosexism creates the social norm that the we are supposed to be heterosexual and this majority represents a privilege above the minority.  This term integrated with homophobia empowers both patriarchal power and nuclear family to be enforced.  The two main areas which have been targeted by fundamentalist ministers include: abortion and homosexuality.  These ministers have taken great measures destroy women’s clinics and create treatment plans to heal women/men from their homosexuality.  Fundamentalist ministers believe that any behavior that challenges the idea of heterosexism is unacceptable and risks severe punishment and loss. 
      Each child experiences puberty and as a result sexual awareness and hormones start to emerge. Through puberty, this country defines the boundaries for these youth in that the social construct created by society only allows heterosexuality and later marriage for reproduction purposes only.  Any child that challenges these boundaries set by heterosexism are then guided to conform to these norms.  Ultimately, any behavior or feelings of homosexuality are considered unmoral.  The last thing these youth want to do is be viewed as an outsider in such a vulnerable time in their lives.  Adults then have the power to control the feelings of these children because they are aware of children in this stage of life looking for acceptance.
      To be a lesbian in our society means that you are a women who has stepped out the social norms and has eliminated the idea that she needs to be dependent on a male for survival.  Somehow this idea of a women who do not need to be dependent on a man means that she completely against men in general.  Which is one of the most common misconceptions expressed in regards to a characteristic of a lesbian.  A lesbian challenges the idea of patriarchal power and nuclear family, the two key components of heterosexism.  As a whole, lesbians completely go against the roles associated with sexism in our country.  Lesbians challenge the status quo and are sometimes seen as outcasts.  Sometimes women are labeled a lesbian because their behavior is unacceptable and has nothing to do with their sexuality.  Some of these unacceptable behaviors include: fighting for equality, being assertive, enjoying the love and company of another women, and opposing violence. 

            Gay men challenge the norms set by society of male dominance and power.  Homophobia against gay men usually is derived from the idea of sexism.  Gay men who fit the stereotype and are noticeably homosexual experience hatred from heterosexual men because their behaviors or considered to be not normal. Two men being affectionate towards one another is only acceptable in sports and war.  When gay men show affection towards one another that don’t fit these two scenarios they are considered less of a man. The sexual identity of gay men is mostly the simple fear that this behavior goes against the “normal” idea of a male and does not fit into heterosexism.  Which like I stated before is said to by society to risk severe punishment and loss. 

 

 

            My personal opinion is that our country is evolving from these original norms expressed in regards to homosexuality.  It is unfortunate that these ideas still exist and people still confidently express their opposition to same-sex relationships, marriage, and way of life.  I feel that we should all have the choice to follow our heart and love without restriction. Love should not be defined by color, race, religion, or sexual orientation.  Ultimately, we all deserve happiness and not have to conform to ideas and concepts such as heterosexism because it challenges people to accept out of their comfort zone and oppose ideas that have been forced upon them.  Hate is far more a choice than homosexuality will ever be. 

 

References:

Rothenberg, P. S. (2010). Race, class, and gender in the united states. New York, NY: Worth Pubslihers.